Disappointment in Sisterhood

I am terribly disappointed at the actions and comments of some of the Muslims these days. I peruse the web in places like Facebook, Twitter, Paltalk and many other forums made available for Muslims all over the world to unite together, learn together and just have fun. Where is the adab? This isn't just a focus for the argumentation online, but I can only assume that the actions that are displayed online are also the actions that are displayed in person. Have we forgotten that the obligation to hijab is not just external by wearing niqab or hijab and abaya, having a thobe or lihyah, or the ability to randomly recite verse from the Kitaabullaah or various fatwa that was learned online in order to express your viewpoint? The obligation to hijab is internally also. Guarding our tongue and our speech towards our brothers and sisters, not just Muslims but towards everyone; making sure our actions reflect proper characteristics and etiquettes and ensuring that the rights of others are given. Clearly this display of argument about the rulings of Islaam, on all parts, is discouraging and harmful to each individual.

Who in fact is it benefiting to "warn" your sister and brother in Islaam of their actions in public causing them further embarrassment? When being corrected, people automatically become defensive, we are human and it is inevitable. ... If that action is in fact for the love or concern for your fellow Muslim and truly for the sake of Allaah, to do so in a manner that belittles their character, their aqeedah, their minhaj, their actions on a public forum? It seems more likely that it is for the embarrassment, aggression, arrogance or sole purpose of argumentation. None of which is condoned in Islaam. Thus, the person being corrected immediately becomes argumentative, defensive and thus an argument pursues. What could have initially been taken care of through an email, a phone call, pulling them to the side or even showing them proper behaviors through your actions...

"Salim reported on the authority of his father that Allaah's Messenger, sallallaahu alayhi wa salaam said: A Muslim is the brother of a fellow Muslim. He should neither commit oppression upon him nor ruin him, and he who meets the need of his brother, Allaah would meet his needs and he who relieved a Muslim from hardship, Allaah would relieve him from the hardships to which he would be put on the Day of Resurrection, and he who did not expose (the follies of a Muslim) Allaah would conceal his follies on the Day of Resurrection. Sahih Muslim - Kitaab Al Birr was salat i wa'l Adab Book 32, Number 6250"

If you truly loved for your sister/brother what you love for yourself, wouldn't it have been proper etiquette to mention in PRIVATE what you believed their errors to be. None of us are without fault and I include myself in this as well. May Allaah remove any arrogance in our hearts, even as small as a mustard seed. Ameen. Instead there is this new found habit of making a public display of your disapproval, most commonly so that others can see or glorify the "knowledge" that you (we) assume we possess. People take side and fighting, banishment and boycotting ensues, all which could have originally been settled with kind words of encouragement, having hikmah in your statements and expressing your own personal errors, in addition. Adding the "human" touch to every situation shows that individual that you don't believe you are infallible and you can relate. Umar ibn Abd Al-Aziz said, ‘Whoever makes his religion the object of argumentation will frequently change it.’ 

The Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa salaam said: ” Mu'minuu miraaa'tu mu'min. The believer is a mirror for the believer. When you advise you advise between yourselves, not to publicly expose what you assume is their wrong doing or make an argument out of it. And even when you adamantly try to prove the point that they are wrong and you are correct... what in fact, if it was the other way around. Who really is at fault in the public display of disdain? Or should we even find fault... ?

I'm disgusted and disappointed. There is no super-muslim, we all error, we're all human, and we're all fallible. I repeat this over and over again. First to myself and then to others. May Allaah increase us all. Ameen. We are mere laymen trying to practice this beautiful and perfect deenul Islaam.

Allaahu musta'an.