The Road to Expectations is Paved with Disappointments

Some disappoints hit you like a ton of bricks
Others you just dust the dirt off of your abaya and keep moving
This is my test.

I never knew how much outward forces could affect the very nature and well being of how I felt on a particular day or felt about a particular subject. I've been through enough "life changes" throughout my life and changed considerably. I've developed this tough "outer-skin", that rare few if any can penetrate.

Spending years building up walls, brick after brick, thickening mortar and concrete to make sure that no one could get in. And then it happened. A crack in the foundation. Now everything seems to be toppling down and I'm under the chaos. What was I hiding myself from? I've spent all of these years defending an empty space... for what? Quite possibly, because I am afraid of the inhabitant... the very thing that caused this overwhelming need to protect and prevent.

Now this urge to review, to reflect, to relive, to reopen, to rehash once again has arisen in my mind and in my heart.

Maybe its time to heal... Maybe its time for love

...again.